Saturday, May 4, 2013

Brenda Heist found living with homeless in Florida after vanishing 11 years ago from Lititz, Pennsylvania


Brenda Heist found living with homeless in Florida after vanishing 11 years ago from Lititz

Intelligencer Journal
Lancaster New Era
Updated May 02, 2013 13:02
Lititz
Originally Published May 01, 2013 16:25
By CINDY STAUFFER 
Staff Writer 
cstauffer@lnpnews.com
Brenda Heist vanished one day in February 2002, leaving behind two children, her husband, her job and her suburban Lititz home.
Last week, Heist reappeared, a thin specter seemingly risen from the dead to family and police who never stopped searching for or thinking of her.
Heist surfaced in Florida, where she has been living under bridges and in tents, working day jobs, panhandling and eating food discarded from fast-food restaurants for more than a decade.
Heist — now 53, fragile-looking, her skin browned by years in the Florida sun, her graying hair dyed blond — got up Friday morning and decided to end her life living off the grid.
She turned herself in to police in Key Largo, Fla.

Apologetic and ashamed
Though she faces no criminal charges as the result of her disappearance, she does face a tangle of of broken relationships, bewildered family members and children she barely recognizes.
"It was very emotional," said Detective Sgt. John Schofield, who flew down to Florida to talk to the woman whose case he has poured countless hours into solving. "She put her head down. The first thing I told her is there's a lot of people who have been looking for her for a long time. She was apologetic and ashamed."
Heist's disappearance has been solved but the case leaves behind questions that can not be easily answered.
More coverage of Brenda Heists's disappearance:

Why did she leave?
What prompted a woman, who was universally described as a devoted mother, to walk out on her two children, ages 8 and 12 at the time?
What made her decide, on what seems like a whim, to join a group of homeless people she unexpectedly encountered at a low point in her life?
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  • difficult time is upon this family now - kids who missed her, thought she was dead (or worse), and no child could wrap their mind around their mother leaving, willingly. BE KIND. It could have been someone YOU love.
    • Avatar
      Alice Maria Laarmann Ehly  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
      Words of wisdom from an obviously kind and loving heart, Jill.
    • Avatar
      Amy Miller  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
      God Bless you Jill! I think we can all testify to a time, or times, in our lives when situations in life got to overbearing and you just wanted to get away! Unfortunately some can take it and some can't. Only the Lord and His redeeming LOVE and MERCY can pull this family back together again! Blessings to ALL....
      • Avatar
        Andrea Stoltzfus  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
        I appreciate your comment Jill, especially because you know this situation personally! Reading this article left me feeling heavy. For Brenda, who faces the shame of knowing that she walked out on her family. For her ex-husband, who is probably wondering what he might have done differently. And for her children, who likely question their mother's love after years of abandonment. Everyone reacts to pain and hardships in a different way. Perhaps Brenda was simply searching for purpose in her life; perhaps she simply didn't have the strength to go on with life the way it was.
        Regardless of these questions in the past, the question facing us now is this: what are we doing for the "Brendas" around us at this moment? Hindsight is always 20/20 and it's easy to criticize someone else for a selfish decision, but our criticism most likely isn't going to make the world a better place. I would challenge us to look around for the people in our lives who may just be at that breaking point that Brenda reached. Who knows how her story might have ended differently?
        • Avatar
          Janet McLean Johnson  Andrea Stoltzfus  2 days ago
          I am a product of this .... there was a Brenda Heist in my life .. My mother left, walked away when I was 6 years old. Asked me what I wanted from the corner store and I nor my 4 siblings ever saw her again until I was 22. Today I hear this story and I am saddened, confused, revolted, excited, and thrown back to that time again of wondering what I did wrong to make my mommy leave, was she dead or alive? And also revoked the memory of how bitter and angry when she came back - expecting us to give her ALL of us as if WE had left her. It's a lot to go thru I feel for these kids.
        • Avatar
          Bob Quinn  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
          How could 2 people vote this post down? Subhuman creatures. A wonderful, compassionate, thoughtful post Jill. You must be a very good person.
          • Avatar
            Jana  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
            Jill, you are amazing. You have figured life out and looks like very little Karma to follow you. God bless you. Keep doing what you are doing!!
            • Avatar
              Jim Johnson  Jill Kring Carter  3 days ago
              I think she is such a bad person to leave her kids like this. I am not sure why you are defending her. I would not have any love for her. She is such a selfish person. Please go back and hide again.
              • Avatar
                Sandra Hennessy  Jim Johnson  2 days ago
                Jim, it is likely this woman suffers from mental illness. Remember she did not leave her family for the bigger and better deal, she left to live under a bridge and eat from garbage cans. I don't think your a bad person but do think your lacking in some human quality to be able to make such statements with conviction. I wonder who will defend you.
                • Avatar
                  ekayr  Jim Johnson  2 days ago
                  SHe obviously had some kind of breakdown.
                • Avatar
                  MsMeT  Jill Kring Carter  2 days ago
                  Unfortunately our society has become extremely negative an harsh - there seems to be very little forgiveness especially for those who are struggling with mental issues. Just because you can't see the issues doesn't mean they don't exist for someone else. My heart aches for her children more so than anyone else, I hope they will be able to forgive her - I'm not sure I could have put in that position. I'm praying for all of them....
                  • Avatar
                    Sarah Wright  Jill Kring Carter  2 days ago
                    What she put her kids through is exactly why I think she should be charged with child abandonment and possibly even emotional abuse. You get help, you don't just walk away from your kids.
                    • Avatar
                      stacey  Sarah Wright  2 days ago
                      So, should all the MEN that walk away from their kids also be charged with child abandonment and emotional abuse? - because quite often fathers walk away and aren't seen for years and sometimes never again. Why is it different when a mother does it? The children had a father there that raised them. Usually the father walks away and the mother raises the children - but in those cases the father is not "charged" with any CRIME and the public in general is not outraged like they are about this situation.
                    • Avatar
                      ernest shaffer  Jill Kring Carter  a day ago
                      From a guys point of view--I brought home the paycheck (period)---Wife had to stretch it out to pay the bills (mortgage), plan, buy and cook decent meals,clean house, budget for kids clothing--that item for growing kids---really---the list goes on and on==looking back--as a realitively thoughless husband (sure there are more then a few of those) bringing home a relatively meager wage---wellshoot I am surprised more women just didnt throw up their hands one day and split
                    • Avatar
                      Mary Jane Miller  3 days ago
                      Lets put the shoe on the other foot. How many men abandon their families and never get this kind of negative feedback?
                    • Avatar
                      Charmaine Black  3 days ago
                      Something happened that made her do this. Maybe she has some mental issues that were never addressed or maybe some things were going on behind closed doors that others could not see. At least she is alive and I hope her children can forgive her. Life is too short.
                      • Avatar
                        Hans  Charmaine Black  3 days ago
                        I suspect something was going on "behind closed doors" and her husband created her stress. I think she "sacrificed" her life for the sake of her children since she was worried about how she would support them financially. Apparently she had no assurance that her husband would provide any financial support. I hope she finds peace and family.
                        • Avatar
                          anne  Hans  2 days ago
                          I can't believe that there are 20 'up arrows' for your comment. It's just mean, and totally unfair to her husband. I'm a woman, and know some women that have done bad things all on their own; not as a result of a man's action. Wow...
                        • Avatar
                          Annie  Charmaine Black  2 days ago
                          I agree, and the truth is that no everyone is strong enough to handle life's obstacles. The husband and people that knew the family all say that she was a great mom, very involved in her children's lives so she didn't leave them because she didn't love them or cared...One just never know, the only thing that's left is forgiveness for her and that hopefully her children can look past all of this and remember the great times they had with her and try to understand her actions even though they might not have been the right ones. God always has a purpose for everything.
                        • Avatar
                          Deb Plum  3 days ago
                          How very sad for all involved............there are NO winners in this situation. Hopefully, she and her children can form some sort of relationship in the future. She and her children deserve our thoughts and prayers and not our negative comments.
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                            natrgrl  3 days ago
                            I can't imagine leaving my kids. Who knows what was going on with this lady. It is very sad and I hope there can be forgiveness.
                            • Avatar
                              Mary Jane Miller  3 days ago
                              I am glad that most of the feedback is compassionate. I wish everyone the best .......none of them need or benefit from inane judgment from the likes of strangers.
                              • Avatar
                                Leroy O. Jackson  3 days ago
                                I've often thought that if things in my life got so desperate that suicide was the only answer, I would do something like what she did. I would grab a bag of stuff, hop on a freight train, and see where it would take me. I would rather start with a clean slate than use a permanent solution to solve a temporary problem. She could have taken the easy route and offed herself, but she decided to just wipe the board clean. I can't imagine being that desperate, but I would do what she did before putting a bullet through my head.
                              • Avatar
                                John Smith  3 days ago
                                "The Prodigal Son" is gender neutral. Taken from Luke 15: 21-24
                                “But while she was 
                                still a long way off, her family saw her and were filled with compassion 
                                for her; they ran to her, threw their arms around her and kissed her.
                                21 “She said to them, ‘Family, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called part of you.’ 22 “But the family said to their servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on her. Put a ring on her finger and sandals on her feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this loved one of ours was dead and is alive again; she was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate."
                              • Avatar
                                Dan Lawrence  3 days ago
                                Wow- I remember following this case when I lived in East Petersburg- it is good to see that she is alive and was not a victim of some act of violence- it just shows you that it is possible to live off the grid so to speak.
                                • Avatar
                                  Guest  3 days ago
                                  Reading this article left me feeling heavy. For Brenda, who faces the shame of knowing that she walked out on her family. For her ex-husband, who is probably wondering what he might have done differently. And for her children, who likely question their mother's love after years of abandonment. Everyone reacts to pain and hardships in a different way. Perhaps Brenda was simply searching for purpose in her life; perhaps she simply didn't have the strength to go on with life the way it was.
                                  Regardless of these questions in the past, the question facing us now is this: what are we doing for the "Brendas" around us at this moment? Hindsight is always 20/20 and it's easy to criticize someone else for a selfish decision, but our criticism most likely isn't going to make the world a better place. I would challenge us to look around for the people in our lives who may just be at that breaking point that Brenda reached. Who knows how her story might have ended differently?
                                  • Avatar
                                    Dave Gallop  3 days ago
                                    Kind words Jill. Just remember what some 'unstable' individuals have done, running away is always better than ending life, even their own! I'm sorry it took her eleven years to gain enough courage to change her mind but at least she could!
                                  • Avatar
                                    This comment was deleted.
                                    • Avatar
                                      Hans  Dave Kolenski  3 days ago
                                      I suspect there is more to this sad story and I would focus on her husband. Why would she worry about financially supporting her children? Wasn't he responsible for their financial support as well? Or was he some thug that was abusive and made her worry that more harm would come? In some ways, she "sacrificed" her life for the life of the children which is sad and hard to understand. Again, I would focus on her husband.
                                      • Avatar
                                        Morgan Heist  Hans  3 days ago
                                        my father was NOT abusive. i am his daughter, i am her daughter. so you can take that RIGHT out of your mind. thank you. she's mentally ill. obviously. she did this herself. my father did NOTHING to her.
                                        • Avatar
                                          Sharon Linton  Morgan Heist  2 days ago
                                          Morgan - There will come a time when hopefully you will find it in your heart to forgive. This was her journey and although she chose a path that none can understand, she needs the grace and mercy that God will afford her. How can you do anything less? Love her as Christ does and try to forgive. In so doing, you too, will mend your own broken heart. I am so very sorry for all of you. May God give each of you understanding and peace. My mother abandoned my brother and I and I never heard from her or saw her for more than 12 years, so I know a little of what you are going through. It causes a lot of anguish on a child, but my father, God bless him, did all he could to raise us properly and for that, I am very blessed. It did take many years to forgive her, but once I did, my heart was finally at peace. I hope you can do the same.
                                          • Avatar
                                            Amy Miller  Sharon Linton  2 days ago
                                            Wow! My story sounds like your story and unfortunately many others stories as well! BUT.... In these kinds of situations in life, we have to choices, EITHER let it destroy us or let it make us stronger and move on and if we have children, try to make it better for them! There's nothing like the sweet peace of Christ that only He can bring to a weary soul!!!! : )
                                          • Avatar
                                            maximo12  Morgan Heist  3 days ago
                                            bless you child.
                                            • Avatar
                                              Darla Majilang  Morgan Heist  2 days ago
                                              Morgan, sometimes a parent can become overwhelmed and if they are not mature mentally they will seek escape. This person should never be a parent but they will try for a while, it seems to be okay while the children are small but then as the children start maturing they start questioning whether they will be able to keep up the role of adult when they still feel like a child themselves. It is not that they do not love their children, it is that they are overwhelmed and feel they will do something wrong in the raising of their children and want the more mature capable person to raise their children when they feel so mentally and spiritually inadequate.
                                              I am not excusing what she did by abandoning you, your siblings and father. Only your family and God know the suffering you have went through all these years. May God heal all the wounds for you and your family as they move forward and give you all the love, patience, and understanding you need to help her and yourselves to heal the wounds that happened to your family, let Him lead and guide you.
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                                                christina  Morgan Heist  a day ago
                                                Morgan- Please don't let any comments you hear here bother you or your family. Your heart, in no dought, is hurting. Everyone can add their own twist to your story but just remember they are doing so because they cant wrap their minds around a mother just getting up and leaving her children and they are trying to justify it in their heads....people who have to try this hard to see what's going on just don't get it and have a veil over their eyes....And sadly so because the simple truths and facts about cases like yours, mine, and others are complex, deep, confusing, heart breaking and long endured all on their own and they don't need any type of extra fluff inserted by those who don't have a clue but instead try to imagine what they would do in this case. You have no room in your life right now for those who are living in an imaginary world. Know you are not alone and there are others, like myself, who have lived through this same tragic situation. Know your life is yours to live and nothing has changed. She made her choices and you will make yours. Keep the path you have and if you can make room, down the line, take your time. I speak to my mother every couple of months and visit once a year and it is something I still struggle with sometimes and it has been 6 years since she came back. Don't feel bad or alone. Reach out if you would like to talk. Only those who have lived with this can truly understand what your family will be going through for the years to come. I always try to reach out to those who I share this connection with to let them know to not harbor the hate and heavy emotions but feeling them is normal and you are not a bad person...Because I wish I would have had someone come to me with this same type of information at the beginning of my long road.
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                                                • Avatar
                                                  christina  christina  a day ago
                                                  And those who say you will "Forgive and Forget" don't understand this is something you sort of just have to live with. It is an illness that will continue and it is not just a simple mistake. So many over look that simple fact....so pay that no mind either. The key is finding a way to live with this that is the best beneficial for YOU and over time maybe that will benefit her to a point as well. I wish you luck. ~
                                                • Avatar
                                                  Ellie  Morgan Heist  a day ago
                                                  my heart goes out to you and your family. I was always told its never the childrens fault when a parent leaves. Poeple just need someone to blame. Excuse those who dont have anything better to do than pass judgement. Good luck.
                                            • Avatar
                                              Harry Ramar  3 days ago
                                              Lititz probably wasn't the worlds coolest town back wheh she left
                                            • Avatar
                                              grown and sexxy  3 days ago
                                              I think it took courage and strength to do what this women did if i were her kids i would grab her and tell her i love her and kiss her and help her because there is something wrong and that was her cry for attention and i will be thinking GOD that he brought her back safe and unharmed and i will be with her every step of the way think about how many people that have lost there parents and and they wish they could see their mother or father and cant so i RESPECT her and i am praying for her and her family to get through this
                                              • Avatar
                                                Mike revere  3 days ago
                                                No one abandons young children unless they have some pretty serious mental health problems. Can't imagine what is going on in her kids heads and hearts now, particularly the girl in high school.
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