Tuesday, March 18, 2014

CNN asks whether maybe God stole Flight 370 by Hunter Mar 17, 2014 10:56am PDT

NEWS
CNN asks whether maybe God stole Flight 370
ALIENS
It would be irresponsible not to speculate:
CNN anchor Don Lemon and Decoded host Brad Meltzer bandied about the idea Sunday afternoon that something “beyond our understanding” happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that “something” being perhaps supernatural maybe?

“Especially today, on a day when we deal with the supernatural,” Lemon said. “We go to church, the supernatural power of God…people are saying to me, why aren’t you talking about the possibility — and I’m just putting it out there — that something odd happened to this plane, something beyond our understanding?”

Sure why not, The News. Why the heck not.
301 COMMENTS
Tip Jar
Mar 17, 10:56a
The devil took my plane ...
Mar 17, 11:00a
indycam 

The devil is plane evil.

Mar 17, 11:04a
My personal devil is 3D. Eom
Mar 17, 1:36p
Here's the video link 

Mar 17, 2:04p
So sad that CNN has sunk this low. It's worse than 

Fox when they first started. I haven't watched it for years, but I am shocked to see this tabloid format on what used to be an excellent news outlet.

Mar 17, 8:19p
It all makes sense now , 

god and the devil had a tug o war with the plane ,
it went way up and then way down ,
what more proof do you need ?

Mar 17, 11:04a
Devil sez.... 

..."Hey God!....I found this cool wishbone here....what say we give it a go, huh?"

Mar 17, 11:14a
Make a wish !!!
Mar 17, 11:17a
"The devil went down to 

Malaysia/he was lookin' for a plane to steal..."

Mar 17, 12:53p
chicken in the bread pan pickin' out dough 

granny does your dog bite? no child, no!

Mar 17, 3:28p
No it doesn't. Why wouldn't he take

Justin Bieber first?

Mar 17, 1:04p
The plane was raptured 

And all those "fundy evangelical cretins" have been left behind. Bwahahahahaha! Coming up next? The "tribulation" -- probably starting with a Republican takeover of the Senate. The end is near.

Mar 17, 1:40p
he already did and replaced him with 

one of these guys

Mar 17, 2:29p
Fucking gods and devils, 

how do they work?

Mar 17, 2:33p
god 

god did it--probably a muslim god--one with ties to 9/11--one possibly in synch with a Kenyan American--just putting this out there--and you know who lives out there. sarah palin can see Him out her window--said he's not wearing a shirt.

Mar 17, 11:06a
Its all becoming perfuckly clear . 

Does anybody know where Obama was on or about the time this aircraft went missing ?

Mar 17, 11:09a
isn't 

Isn't Malaysia near Kenya?  Actually, can't you see Kenya from Malaysia?  And didn't the Kenyan grow up in Indonesia, which is really the same country as Malaysia?  

Mar 17, 11:23a
All those countries with funny names 

are in bed together , can't trust a one of them .

Mar 17, 11:29a
in common 

don't all these countries have muslims?  god is punishing them.

Mar 17, 11:38a
Especially the "Stans." 

Including Kenyastan!

Mar 17, 1:41p
Like Stan Lee? Or Stan Tucci?

One makes mighty fine comic books & the other did some good pictures. If Awmighty Gawd is after them, what hope is there for US?

Mar 17, 2:34p
How could I have forgotten about

that Indonesian connection? Am losing it.

Mar 17, 12:08p
Plane was flown to Benghazi. -eom-
Mar 17, 11:24a
I'm pretty sure it was flown to North Korea .
Mar 17, 11:33a
And it still wouldn't be the weirdest kidnapping 

they pulled off.

Mar 17, 2:36p
Actually, has anyone ever seen Obama and 

Malaysia in the same place at the same time???

I think Obama may actually BE Malaysia!

Mar 17, 12:28p
think 

i think you're mixing up Indonesia and Malaysia.  Barry spent his youth in Indonesia--he is Indonesia--and it is the Sudetenland.

Mar 17, 12:52p
Maybe 

he didn't actually grew up in Indonesia, but in Crimea, and his birth certificate says his name is actually Neville Chamberlain.

Mar 17, 1:33p
Thanks, Obama!
Mar 17, 3:29p
He obviously took it because teh gayz

getz the marrieds some places.

Mar 17, 11:37a
And then they haz teh butt sexx.

God hates it when they do that.

Mar 17, 12:31p
God is into three-way, trinity kind of stuff
Mar 17, 1:44p
So true. 

The self haters are always the worst.

Mar 17, 1:52p
sounds more like the work of a Canadian Communist 

Does anyone know where Ted Cruz was? YOU DO KNOW HE WAS BORN IN CANADA AS THE SON OF A CUBAN FATHER WHO FOUGHT TO PUT COMMUNIST CASTRO IN POWER THEN BRIBED HIS WAY INTO CANADA. HIS MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE SON IS NOW A US SENATOR WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT TRY AND SABOTAGE THE US ECONOMY.  AND NOW THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE BUNCH SAY HIS CLEAN AND HE QUALIFIES AS A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN......why cuz he is white of course?

Mar 17, 12:29p
Quietly, now 

Take your finger off the all-caps key and put your hands behind your head!

Mar 17, 1:45p
OMG 

LOL!!!  

Mar 17, 12:56p
Exactly. That's what the pilots said when 

God showed up and said, "I want your plane."

They said "Oh, my God."

And he said, "yes, very good. That's Me. Now, give Me the plane. You, Mr. First Officer, you can go sit in first class. I'm going to take your seat."

Then he turned to the flight attendant and said, "I'd like a Diet Coke, and a couple bags of peanuts, please."

Mar 17, 2:13p
And then when the flight attendant 

reiterated the airline policy of only one bag of peanuts per passenger, Awmighty Gawd hurled that plane down to infernal HECK, where them thar passengers is being tortured for failing the test put to them by Gawd! When the Lord wants nuts,a Fresca, and an inflight movie dammit, the Lord better GET nuts, a Fresca, and an inflight movie!!!!!!

Mar 17, 2:38p
if God is your co-pilot, switch seats
Mar 17, 3:30p
Well, not if he's planning to steal your aircraft!
Mar 17, 3:47p
Has anyone looked for the plane in Benghazi? 

Because everything that goes wrong can be explained by BENGHAZI!!!!!!

Mar 17, 2:34p
I seem to remember John Kerry stealing shoes 

Not big leap to stealing planes, I suppose

Mar 17, 11:36a
What ever happened to the shoebomber? 

Too many unanswered questions.

Mar 17, 12:32p
He got gay-married to the underwear bomber.
Mar 17, 1:46p
Just hope we never have a hoody bomber... 

people will lose their goddamned minds.

Mar 17, 2:04p
We already had one of those.

Una(hoodie)bomber

He was a bad dude. White dude. They never seem to remember that.

Mar 17, 4:03p
Hijacked by snakes.
Mar 17, 12:22p
Hmm 

Radioactive, muslim, ninja vampire snakes!

They glamored everybody and flew the plane to Iraq where they are going to use it to make WMD's to replace the ones that Bush found and took away from them.

Mar 17, 1:00p
Alien snakes. We all know they're out there 

waiting to get us when we fly.

Mar 17, 2:26p
Soooooo, IF there is a god, then I ask myself, 

"Why is there a CNN?"

Mar 17, 12:30p
B-cuz!
Soooooo, IF there is a god, then I ask myself, "Why is there a CNN?"
Because God has a sense of humor! Many don't like to acknowledge that, for some reason. (Some) People have funny bones, and we were made in God's image, so there you go!

As to God just snatching the plane out of the air, LOL! God is not going to make it easy for lazy believers like Lemon and Meltzer to believe through "signs." Jesus tired quickly of followers asking for signs, so that they could believe. It's in the book!

Faith is just that, faith. Diluting it is the devil's work. These guys ought to check themselves...

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